


Curse of the Ice Walker

by Rururinchan



Category: Paladins: Champions Of The Realm (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I'm so glad to finally post this LMAO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 16:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12535760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rururinchan/pseuds/Rururinchan
Summary: Every year, Inara returns to the frigid lands of the north for a few days. Talus decides to ask why, and ends up tagging along for a rather emotional journey...





	Curse of the Ice Walker

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! Wrote this for [PaladinsHeadcanons](https://paladinsheadcanons.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, which I'm a mod of (Am Mod Inara), but it got a little too long for the blog so I decided to post it here! Hope you like it!

It was almost that time of year again. 

Inara sat under the shade of a grand oak tree, staring up at the skies, thinking about the past. She wasn't looking forward to returning to that place, but she could never forgive herself if she neglected to go. 

None of the other Paladins really knew why she left her domain for weeks during that time of year, save for Seris, Evie, and Makoa, though the three of them never spoke of it. They all knew about Inara’s circumstances, and even Evie would ever be insensitive enough to bring up such a serious matter without Inara’s consent so casually. As for the others, no one really ever asked. 

That is, no one except their newest, curious little champion. 

“Hey Inara?” Talus asked, bouncing up to the Stone Warden with his usual joyful and innocent smile, “The others told me you'd be leaving for a bit? Why’s that?”

“Oh, nothing much little one.” Inara replied with a soft smile in return, “It is merely a yearly visit to a certain place.”

“What kind of place? Is it cool? Does it have nice scenery? Is it nearby any place I know?” Talus skipped around her, asking questions after question. Usually, his childlike demeanor would've amused Inara greatly, but this time...this time she was unable to feel anything but sorrow, given the topic in question, especially with Talus by her side. She looked down at her hands wordlessly, letting out a deep sigh. At that, Talus stopped bouncing and asking questions. He blinked, shifting closer to Inara with a concerned gleam in his youthful eyes. 

“Inara? Is everything okay?” He asked, sitting down next to her, just close enough to be within Inara’s personal space but without touching her. Inara looked down at him, sighing again as she saw his concern. 

“It is quite the long story Talus.” She said gently, “And it is not a kind one. Nor does this story have a happy ending.”

Inara placed her hands on her lap and looked down at them again. Part of her wanted to tell Talus the story of her curse, given the circumstances, but the rest of her was reluctant. Inara felt fear...fear of seeing someone terrified of her again. Especially one as young and innocent as Talus. 

To Inara’s surprise, however, Talus placed a hand on her arm, and when she looked back at him, she found his usual cheerful smile on his face, but his eyes gave off a strong sense of understanding that Inara would have never expected from someone of his age.

“Inara,” He said softly, “Don't worry. I know all about those kinds of stories remember? I mean, my people were never...well-received after all. Of course I’m not gonna give up trying to change that, but I’ve heard a lot of stories with bad endings you know? I’m just saying, if you need someone to help you deal with the sadness, I’m always here for you.”

Those words immediately triggered something in Inara, despite Talus’s good intentions. A combined sense of dread, guilt, and despair washed over Inara, and she turned away. 

“Talus,” Inara said, unable to keep herself from holding the truth back any longer, “You are very kind, but I’m afraid you don’t understand. My story...is that of me killing many innocent people without reason, including the Ska’Drin.”

“Wait... _ what _ …?” Talus’s demeanor changed at once, pulling his hand back as the concern in his eyes vanished and became shock and disbelief, “What do you mean you killed many innocent people? I thought you…”

“It was centuries ago Talus, though that’s hardly an excuse.” Inara cut in, still not looking at the young Ska’Drin, the haunting memories of murdering those who had begged at her feet for her to spare them flashing through her mind, “At one point, something terrible happened to me while I lived in the northern regions, and I became known as the Ice Walker. People feared me, and I drew power from that, terrorizing them and killing whoever I pleased. I was a monster back then, Talus, and nothing I do now can undo what I’ve done.”

As she finished telling him this, Inara braced herself and looked back at Talus. As expected, Talus was staring at her, the denial in his young eyes crystal clear. The guilt began to eat at her again, as it always did, but she didn’t want to show it anymore. She suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable, somehow intimidated by the young flanker next to her. She wanted to run away, but she found that she couldn’t move. She felt almost as if she was Rooted, unable to escape the judgement. 

Talus looked away first, still very obviously shaken. “Why? Why would you have…?”

He trailed off, but the question was clear. 

“...It was a curse.” Inara answered, once again looking back down at her own hands, “I don’t clearly remember how such a curse was placed on me, nor do I remember for what purpose, but I remember everything it did to me. 

“My stone body became...corrupted, turning into an indestructible ice. My powers changed and allowed me to control ice and snow, similarly to Evie, instead of stone and earth. I became nothing but cold, literally and figuratively, as my heart was frozen over. I ended up wanting nothing more than to make everything around me the same way, so I did. Plants, animals, people...I froze all of it, and I relished in it.”

Inara paused, sighing deeply once again. Silence fell over them, and as far as Inara knew, they both just sat there, both avoiding eye contact with one another. Inara felt the fear again, that the next time she looked at Talus, he would be the one afraid of her. She hadn’t known the child for very long, but she had found herself watching out for him and making sure he was happy and safe. She wasn’t sure what Talus thought of her before, but she didn’t dare ask anymore. 

After a while, Talus spoke again. “Well...what does all this have to do with that place you’re visiting…?”

Inara didn’t answer immediately. She supposed she should’ve expected the question at some point. She wasn’t quite sure what to say in reply. Eventually, she found her voice again. 

“...Before I was cursed, I often loved to visit one particular little village in the north.” She explained slowly, allowing herself to remember the kinder memories of those harsh times, “It was a lovely place, the only village I’ve ever known to have so many different people co-existing so peacefully. I loved it there but...not as the Ice Walker. Now...it’s a empty, forgotten place, completely frozen over by my actions. Every year, I visit the village to pay my respects, and pray for the souls of the people I murdered. It is something I must do.”

“Oh…” Talus muttered in response, and Inara risked a slight glance at him. Talus looked...conflicted. He wasn’t looking at her, instead looking at the ground, his fingers and toes fidgeting with clear anxiety. Then, he looked up, and their eyes met. To Inara’s surprise, for the second time that day, Talus’s eyes now had a determined shine beneath the conflict. 

“Can I come with you Inara, please?”

That...that was not a question Inara expected at all. She was completely taken aback, unable to process what Talus had just said to her. 

“What…? Come with me…?” She asked in confusion.

“Yeah...I know it’s weird. But I wanna see what happened there.” Talus answered firmly. 

“But, why…?” 

“I...I don’t know. I just want to see. Maybe I’ll figure out why when I get there.”

“...You won’t like what you will see little one.” 

“I guess so. But I still wanna go with you. Please?”

Once again, Inara found herself at a loss for words. She stared at Talus, wanting to immediately tell him “no”, that he couldn't come along. She didn't want him to see what she had done to her beloved village. However, she didn't say anything. She couldn't. Seeing the expression on Talus’s face, one of certainty and resolve to face her past alongside her...how could Inara possibly disrespect that? 

“...Alright.” Inara finally answered, “If you are sure about this, pack some warm clothes and food for travel, and meet me at the docks tonight okay?” 

“Okay. Thanks Inara. I'll see you later.” 

With that, Talus bounded off, likely to get ready for the trip. Inara watched him until he was out of sight, and then the worry began to set in. What would Talus think of her after he sees the village? Would he reject her or fear her? The others who knew didn't, but they were not young children, instead immortal souls who had been through centuries of strife. 

The more she thought about it, the more she hoped she hadn't made a mistake in letting the young Ska’Drin come along. 

Later that night, Inara waited at the dock, carrying with her little more than her staff and a small bag. The moon was high, a good sign. 

The water shifted in front of her, and soon Makoa surfaced, a look of concern in his ancient eyes. 

“I hear you're taking Talus with you. Are you sure about this?” He asked. 

“...No. I'm not sure.” Inara admitted, “But I couldn't say no to him when he asked.” 

“I see. Then I pray it all goes well for you both.”

“Thank you old friend. I hope so too.” 

Inara then turned her gaze to the skies, staring up at the broken moon. Her worries had not yet been quelled, in fact if anything, the more she waited for Talus to arrive, the more she began to fear his arrival. Part of her considered asking Makoa to just take her alone ahead, but she couldn’t betray Talus’s trust in her either. If Makoa noticed her distress, he said nothing, and they both waited in mutual silence. 

Eventually, the sound of light and hurried footsteps was heard. Inara turned to look, and a rather flustered Talus appeared with a questionably large bag over his shoulders, though he seemed to have no trouble hauling it along. The Stone Warden blinked. 

“Talus, that seems to be a little more than necessary.” She commented, and Talus blushed just brightly enough for his red face to be seen even in the darkness. In spite of herself, Inara let out a small chuckle. 

“Well I wasn’t sure how long we’d be out there. And I wanted to be prepared.” Talus said, clearly embarrassed. Inara didn’t miss the slightly concerned hint to his voice though, but she decided not to question it. It was to be expected after all. 

“Well alright then, shall we be off?” She asked Talus, who took a deep breath before he gave her a firm nod. Inara returned the gesture, and turned to her old friend. “Makoa, if you please?” 

Makoa didn't reply with words. He looked at them both, then gave a nod of his own. He turned in the water, his shell facing them as he began to glow. Slowly, but surely, Makoa grew, until he was almost twice his usual size, to which Talus let out a soft gasp of amazement. Once he was done, Makoa looked back over at the two, gesturing with his head for them to get on. Inara thanked him, carefully stepping onto his shell. As usual, it was quite unstable, but Inara’s feet moved from memory, and was quickly able to settle comfortably on The Ancient’s back. 

“Be careful Talus. Makoa’s shell can be a little slippery.” Inara called. Talus blinked, clearly not having expected that Makoa was sending them to their destination. He soon got over his stupor though, and he hopped over to Inara’s side gracefully and sat down next to her, looking apprehensively at the darkened waters. 

“Um...how long is this trip gonna be exactly?” He asked somewhat nervously. 

“Not too long.” Inara assured, understanding his uncertainty more than he would ever realize, “Makoa has his ways of moving quickly across the ocean with ease. You can trust him to take us safely.” 

“Hmph.” Makoa grunted, “You don't have anything to worry about with me, but Talus, are you ready to face Inara’s past with her? It may change what you think of her.” 

Inara felt herself stiffen at that, which was quite a feat when one was already entirely made of stone. She glanced down at Talus out of the corner of her eye, and saw the uncertainty on his face once more. 

“I...I don't think I can answer that right now.” Talus admitted after a short pause, then turned to look up at Inara, “I...I really like hanging out with you, and you're almost like a mom to me sometimes...I never expected to hear about such a curse but...now that I know about it, I just, I just want to know the full story.” 

Makoa didn’t reply, turning to face forward once more. Whether or not he was satisfied with such an answer was unclear, but whatever it was, he at least accepted it. With a quick comment for them to hold on tight, Makoa began their journey towards the northern regions of the realm. 

They rode on for about a total of two days. Talus hung onto Inara for most of their journey, only letting go to snack on some fruits and dried meats he had packed for himself, evidently fearful of falling into the waters. Inara kept him close, making sure he was secure. They made little conversation between each other and Makoa, just riding solemnly. It was...strange. Talus was always so lively, so cheerful. The lack of his usual bouncy self was nothing but foreign to Inara. The closer they got, the more Inara’s uncertainty weighed down on her. But there was no longer any chance for reconsideration. 

The northern shores were in sight. 

Talus shivered beside her as they both careful stepped off Makoa’s shell, putting on a large coat, several sizes too large for him, that he had pulled out of his massive bag. Makoa had shrunk back down to his usual size, remaining in the water. He would await their return as he was. 

“Come now Talus.” Was all Inara said as she led him into the lands she once called her home. Talus only managed a muffled ‘okay’ in response. 

Despite everything, Inara felt a rather strange sense of nostalgia wash over her. She began to recall the kinder times she had there. The children of all races playing together, accompanying the villagers during the flowering and harvesting seasons, the friendly creatures that lived nearby…

Inara frowned. No matter how many times she came back, the same thoughts would go through her mind. She would miss everything she had here, and be burdened with knowing how it was all gone now. Gone... _ because of her.  _ Each step towards her beloved village bought on more fond memories that morphed into remorse and sorrow, but she kept going. She had to. She had to see them all again. 

So lost in her thoughts, Inara had completely failed to notice Talus’s eyes on her the whole time as he walked beside her. Had she properly looked, she would’ve seen it, the pure worry and sadness in his young eyes. 

And then, finally. They arrived. 

Talus let out a gasp as they stopped at the old main remains of the main gate of the village. It was just as Inara had left it. Taking a deep breath, Inara gestured wordlessly to Talus, urging him to follow as she walked in, silently hoping he would be alright. 

Inara headed to the village square first. It was where she had made her first attack. Where her beloved villagers began to look at her with pure, unbridled fear in their eyes for the first time. The ice statues of some of the villagers, their very bodies transformed into solid ice, were scattered around the square, every last one of them with an expression of terror forever frozen, literally, on their faces.

“This...this is…” Talus muttered, mist gathering in front of his face as he spoke. He slowly approached the frozen forms of a young Ska’Drin woman clutching onto a human child, a clear attempt to shield the child with her own body. Inara felt a pang of sorrow. She remembered that woman very clearly, a kind soul who loved caring for the young ones. 

Talus continued looking around, his movements uncharacteristically slow and almost mechanical. Inara’s heart sank more and more as they passed more ice statues. 

An elven couple reeling back in horror. A crying young human boy hugging a small pet. An older human man with a look of shocked betrayal on his face. It hurt. It hurt so much. Inara stopped walking, dropping to her knees as her staff fell from her hands. She hugged her own arms, as the tears began to fall. 

No matter how many times she came back here...no matter how many times she tried to express how sorry she was...it always just ended the same way. She would see everything...everything she destroyed...and knew there would never be anything she could do to atone for her actions. Curse or not, the village was destroyed by her hand. She killed them. 

“Inara?!” Talus called out suddenly, though it felt as if his voice was somewhere far away. Inara could hardly pay attention to him as everything came rushing back again. 

The screaming...the pleading...the crying…

The animals...the children...and everyone else...she murdered them all…

Gone...her old friends...they were all gone...

_ It was her fault. _

Then, she felt a small, warm pair of arms try to wrap themselves around her. She flinched at the sudden touch, before she remembered that she hadn’t come alone this time. Talus, in his large coat, struggled to give Inara a hug. 

“You okay Inara…?” He asked softly, leaning into her side. Inara was at a loss for words. She wasn’t sure how Talus would’ve reacted, but…

“I’m sorry.” Inara said quickly, trying to dry her tears, “I didn’t want you to see me like this, I…”

“No...don’t apologise.” Talus replied just as quickly, shaking his head almost desperately at her, “Inara...how long have you been doing this…?”

Inara turned to look at him properly, but he didn’t shift from his position and continued speaking. “Have you been coming back here ever since your curse was lifted?” 

“...I...I stayed here for a while, after my curse was lifted.” Inara began to explain, “I tried to find some way to undo what I had done, but I could not. I spent years, and years trying, but there was nothing I could do. Eventually, I left the northern regions, unable to bear the pain of what I had done, but...but I could not let go of the guilt and regret…”

“So...you come back here every year...? Just to put yourself through...all this again…?” Talus asked her, pulling away slightly so he could look up at her, “You can’t keep doing this Inara. You’re just hurting yourself more.”

“I can’t just leave them behind Talus!” Inara exclaimed, “They trusted me! And I betrayed them! I…”

“But you didn’t want to! You were cursed!” Talus exclaimed in reply, cutting Inara off, “Inara, I’ve seen people like that, people who killed my kind and others without mercy, people who  **_wanted_ ** to do it. You...you aren’t one of those people.”

Talus leaned back in again, hugging her tighter than before, his voice growing soft and sad. “You didn’t want this. It wasn’t your fault. Please...you need to let go Inara.”

For a few moments, no more words were spoken as Inara considered Talus’s words. She knew he was right, but she could not let go. She wanted to. She wished she could just walk away and forget it all ever happened. But she could not. The responsibility was still hers. She could not turn her back on her old friends a second time. She just could not. Inara looked back down at her hands. 

“I’m sorry, but I cannot.” She finally told him, “You are right Talus, but...it was still my hand that caused all this. It was my power that killed everyone in this village. I cannot let go. Not yet.”

At that, Talus pulled away slowly, then moved in front of Inara and sat down, looking up at her as he placed his small hands over her own. There was a pleading look in his eyes. “I know it seems impossible, but please, don’t keep doing this to yourself. Please Inara.” 

Looking at the young Ska’Drin child before her, a multitude of jumbled up emotions washed over Inara. She knew much cruelty Talus had already witnesses in his short life, and yet, his eyes were so filled with a gleam of innocence and joy that Inara rarely ever saw in anyone. Sometimes she wondered, how could he still smile so easily, so genuinely? She was never sure. 

Without thinking, Inara reached out, pulling Talus into her embrace. Talus seemed slightly surprised, but he didn’t resist at all, instead returning the hug as he leaned into it more. 

“Please Inara?” Talus whispered again, “I don’t want to see you so sad. You’re always there for me, and I wanna be there for you too.”

“...Thank you Talus, but I’m sorry.” Inara told him as she held him even closer, “I’ve been at this too long...I cannot let go of everything just yet. I’m...I cannot leave them behind…”

“Then let me come with you again?” 

“What…?”

“If you can’t let go yet, fine. I know I can't force you. But let me make sure you don’t have to go through this alone at least okay?” 

Inara released him from the hug, staring at him in confusion. “Talus, I...”

“Please Inara.” He said, firmly but gently, “I want to support you until you can let go someday. Will you let me?”

Inara hesitated to answer. The only person who had ever come with her was Evie, and that had only been one time, for she was too unsettled to return. And here Talus was offering to go with her every year? 

“...And if I never let go Talus?” She asked, “If I can never bring myself to let go of what I’ve done…?”

“I don’t know, but I wanna support you either way.” Talus gave a slight shake of his head as he said those words, his soft smile returning, “I never expected you had this kind of past, and I have to admit, it made me really uneasy. But, you were always there for me when I needed you, ever since I became a Paladin. You’re like family to me. I know you’re not the monster you think you were.”

His words immediately brought Inara to tears again. She pulled Talus closer once more, letting herself cry. She hadn’t realized...she hadn’t realized how much she had wanted someone to tell her that. To be called someone’s family again, like those in the village had called her. She had missed it, being a part of something. Joining the Paladins had lessened the pain, but there had always,  **_always_ ** been the worry that once they learned of her past, they would fear her. But perhaps, for the first time, she felt a spark of hope that her worries had been meaningless. As Talus hugged back, never loosening his grip, he seemed to radiate a warmth that Inara hadn’t felt in what felt like forever. 

Eventually, Inara’s tears dried. She wiped her eyes with a sigh as she released Talus properly, giving him a small smile of gratitude. “Thank you Talus. You don’t know how much it means for me to know that you feel this way.”

Talus returned the smile, much of his usual cheer returning to his expression. “I’m just glad you’re not crying anymore. I hope you don’t regret bringing me here.” 

Inara looked up, once again taking in the sights of the frozen village, before she looked back down at the young Ska’Drin. Her pain and guilt was not yet gone, but there was no regret with her decision to let him accompany her. Talus had brought her a sort of comfort she thought she would never have again. It was extremely reassuring to know she had someone who was willing to be by her side through her hardest times. A smile appeared on her face. 

“I don't regret it at all...thank you so much Talus.” She said to him, and Talus positively beamed. 

“You're welcome Inara.” 

*******

_ Cloaked in Twilight, Seris watched the touching scene before her, the slightest ghost of a smile gracing her lips. She turned to the misty figures next to her, figures of a young woman with horns and a tail, standing hand in hand with a young human child, both also watching the exchange in the mortal realm.  _

_ “Are you finally ready to move on?” Seris asked quietly, as the figures turned to her, both with relieved smiles on their blurry faces. _

_ “Yes.” The Ska’Drin woman said, her voice little more than a soft whisper that would never reach mortal ears, “Thank you...Oracle...for letting us wait this long…”  _

_ Seris nodded, saying nothing as she began to lead the two last remaining souls from Inara’s village to their final resting place within the Abyss. As they moved away, the Oracle of the Abyss glanced over once last time, to see Inara and Talus helping each other to their feet. A proper smile appeared on her face as they faded into the darkness.  _


End file.
